First things first: read this blog post.
No, seriously... go back, and read that blog post!
All done? Ok, now you may continue reading. And if you didn't read that post, this might not make as much sense. :)
I read a testimony this morning about a man fighting to get out of this weary battle. This quote from that testimony spoke loudly to me: "In my deepest despair . . . I concluded it was never to be, and I sincerely tried to take my life; again I failed. It was as if God were telling me that I had a deeper death to go through than suicide could ever offer me." I think that phrase -- "deeper death" -- is pregnant with meaning. My immediate thought was dying to self. It is a death deeper than suicide, because you are alive and making the decision, daily, to die to self and to live to Christ. It is a moment by moment decision, and sometimes those decisions are painful.
Sometimes you rather not live than deal with the implications of those decisions. It can be incredibly heart wrenching, very isolating, and incredibly lonely in those moments. It is in precisely those moments you are kept. Held. Truly known by the One who created you and brought you to that point of living for Him and dying to self. It is MUCH easier to give up! This is the heart of depression for so many--turning inward, growing in despair, losing hope in the midst of the struggle. If our eyes are not fixed on Jesus (Heb. 12:2), we lose hope in an instant.
What does that phrase mean, eyes fixed on Jesus? I'm not talking about an occasional glace. I'm not talking about picking up your Bible, flipping through, reading a verse (or a chapter) and then going on your way, quickly forgetting what you read (cf. James 1:23-24). It has nothing to do with staring off into the clouds, looking for Jesus (or fish) formations. To "fix your eyes" on something is to turn your mind from focusing on one thing to another. It is easy to focus on the storm and the raging waves. Peter gives us an excellent example of what it means to fix your eyes on Jesus, and what happens we we take our eyes (mind) off of Him:
[Mat 14:26-31 NASB] 26 When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." 28 Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." 29 And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Peter's prayer when he was about to sink is perfect--and one we need to use as well. "Lord, save me!" It had direction: he called out to the Lord. Peter knew exactly who it was who could (and would) save him, and he immediately turned his mind and focus there. "Save me!" Had either of those words been left out, Peter was sunk. Literally. Lord, save! Save who? Me. There was no need to explain further to Jesus what Peter was requesting. The Lord knew exactly what Peter saying, and from what what he was asking Jesus to save him. There was no discourse of, "I'm drowning, Lord, and I need your help. Would you please grab my hand and pull me up out of this water? That would be so helpful." Had THAT many words come out of Peter's mouth, he would have been under the water by the time he got to the first "and."
Sometimes the best prayers that come from our lips are three words long: "Lord, save me." If you are His child, He will. The thing is, His means of saving us aren't always what we were thinking it would look like. Sometimes He actually takes us Home. Sometimes we're left to face severe consequences. Sometimes we lose what we hold most precious. Sometimes we are given exactly what we want--for better or for worse.
Here's my question, though: if you're drowning, are you really going to stop God in the midst of that saving and give Him correction or a suggestion as to how He does it? When someone is under water, gasping for air, pleading for life, they don't really care how you get them out of the water. All they care about is that they are no longer there, and are able to breathe oxygen unencumbered. It sounds a bit silly, but think about it--how many times, in the midst of the Lord doing exactly what we asked Him to do--save us--do we grumble and complain about the way in which He is saving? The children of Israel give us abundant opportunities to see this in action (for just one example, think: manna. 40 years).
Take some time today to think about the verse below, and the race you're running. How can you best fix your eyes upon Jesus in the circumstances you find yourself in at this moment in time? How do you move from weariness to joy-filled hope in the Lord and the work He is doing? Where are you struggling to place your trust in God and what He is doing? Do you want the Lord, and by extension the work He is doing in your life, more than you want what you want? Are you willing to die to self, and live for Christ? These aren't easy questions, and they aren't intended to be. The best questions you ask yourself are the ones that stop you in your tracks and make you truly examine your heart before the Lord and seek His face. My challenge: ask yourself the hard questions. Don't stop asking questions until you get to one that makes you stop, and you find yourself really not wanting to answer it. That's the question you take before the Lord in prayer, and you stay there until He works.
That's what it looks like to fix your eyes on Jesus in the midst of the weary and when in the middle of the storm that you think is so impossible to survive. He is faithful. He is just. He is Lord. He is BIG, and mighty to save. He is God.
[Heb 12:1-2 NASB] 1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
No, seriously... go back, and read that blog post!
All done? Ok, now you may continue reading. And if you didn't read that post, this might not make as much sense. :)
I read a testimony this morning about a man fighting to get out of this weary battle. This quote from that testimony spoke loudly to me: "In my deepest despair . . . I concluded it was never to be, and I sincerely tried to take my life; again I failed. It was as if God were telling me that I had a deeper death to go through than suicide could ever offer me." I think that phrase -- "deeper death" -- is pregnant with meaning. My immediate thought was dying to self. It is a death deeper than suicide, because you are alive and making the decision, daily, to die to self and to live to Christ. It is a moment by moment decision, and sometimes those decisions are painful.
Sometimes you rather not live than deal with the implications of those decisions. It can be incredibly heart wrenching, very isolating, and incredibly lonely in those moments. It is in precisely those moments you are kept. Held. Truly known by the One who created you and brought you to that point of living for Him and dying to self. It is MUCH easier to give up! This is the heart of depression for so many--turning inward, growing in despair, losing hope in the midst of the struggle. If our eyes are not fixed on Jesus (Heb. 12:2), we lose hope in an instant.
What does that phrase mean, eyes fixed on Jesus? I'm not talking about an occasional glace. I'm not talking about picking up your Bible, flipping through, reading a verse (or a chapter) and then going on your way, quickly forgetting what you read (cf. James 1:23-24). It has nothing to do with staring off into the clouds, looking for Jesus (or fish) formations. To "fix your eyes" on something is to turn your mind from focusing on one thing to another. It is easy to focus on the storm and the raging waves. Peter gives us an excellent example of what it means to fix your eyes on Jesus, and what happens we we take our eyes (mind) off of Him:
[Mat 14:26-31 NASB] 26 When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid." 28 Peter said to Him, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." 29 And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Peter's prayer when he was about to sink is perfect--and one we need to use as well. "Lord, save me!" It had direction: he called out to the Lord. Peter knew exactly who it was who could (and would) save him, and he immediately turned his mind and focus there. "Save me!" Had either of those words been left out, Peter was sunk. Literally. Lord, save! Save who? Me. There was no need to explain further to Jesus what Peter was requesting. The Lord knew exactly what Peter saying, and from what what he was asking Jesus to save him. There was no discourse of, "I'm drowning, Lord, and I need your help. Would you please grab my hand and pull me up out of this water? That would be so helpful." Had THAT many words come out of Peter's mouth, he would have been under the water by the time he got to the first "and."
Sometimes the best prayers that come from our lips are three words long: "Lord, save me." If you are His child, He will. The thing is, His means of saving us aren't always what we were thinking it would look like. Sometimes He actually takes us Home. Sometimes we're left to face severe consequences. Sometimes we lose what we hold most precious. Sometimes we are given exactly what we want--for better or for worse.
Here's my question, though: if you're drowning, are you really going to stop God in the midst of that saving and give Him correction or a suggestion as to how He does it? When someone is under water, gasping for air, pleading for life, they don't really care how you get them out of the water. All they care about is that they are no longer there, and are able to breathe oxygen unencumbered. It sounds a bit silly, but think about it--how many times, in the midst of the Lord doing exactly what we asked Him to do--save us--do we grumble and complain about the way in which He is saving? The children of Israel give us abundant opportunities to see this in action (for just one example, think: manna. 40 years).
Take some time today to think about the verse below, and the race you're running. How can you best fix your eyes upon Jesus in the circumstances you find yourself in at this moment in time? How do you move from weariness to joy-filled hope in the Lord and the work He is doing? Where are you struggling to place your trust in God and what He is doing? Do you want the Lord, and by extension the work He is doing in your life, more than you want what you want? Are you willing to die to self, and live for Christ? These aren't easy questions, and they aren't intended to be. The best questions you ask yourself are the ones that stop you in your tracks and make you truly examine your heart before the Lord and seek His face. My challenge: ask yourself the hard questions. Don't stop asking questions until you get to one that makes you stop, and you find yourself really not wanting to answer it. That's the question you take before the Lord in prayer, and you stay there until He works.
That's what it looks like to fix your eyes on Jesus in the midst of the weary and when in the middle of the storm that you think is so impossible to survive. He is faithful. He is just. He is Lord. He is BIG, and mighty to save. He is God.
[Heb 12:1-2 NASB] 1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.